Undefined

Have you ever been in a relationship wherein you don't have any idea what's going on and where you stand?  That seems to be the norm for me...haaayyyz!

Like I met this guy many years ago (2002).  Let's hide him under the name of Cheese. When we were talking, we seemed to hit it off.  We dated once but a second date didn't seem to be an option.  I got turned off by something (no need to tell you guys).  He tried to get in touch every now and then but I wasn't really interested.  Another reason why is because he lives overseas.  How can you build a relationship if you are not in the same town, much less the same country???

Anyway, few months ago he sent me an IM and asked for my number.  What the hell, I gave it.  That was in June and for some reason we couldn't seem to connect. He tried again in July and we had better, but not much, communication then.  Of course he wanted to see me.  Tell you the truth, I don't remember how he looked like.  But I know he's not bad looking.  It turned out he doesn't remember how I looked like either.  Go figure!  But he couldn't totally forget me.

So finally, we met again...and again...and again.  But despite seeing Cheese again, I still barely know him.  Getting personal information from him is like looking for needles in a haystack.  He is so close-mouthed about himself.  Makes one wonder if he is hiding something, which he probably is.  Then came September and he really had to go back home  He has been gone too long from work already.  He left without saying goodbye...of course!

Then last month he got in touch saying he might be coming home but only for a few days, just long enough to take care of some papers.  He asked if he could see me.  Of course he can! And he did!  We met the day he arrived.

I asked him once if we are dating, he laughed.  We act like a couple when we're together. We miss each other when we are apart.  But are we a couple? I have no freakin' idea....

If the Shoe Fits

What's the first thing you notice about a guy?  Well, of course it's the face! But let's just say you met this not so bad looking guy and you're interested to know more about him.  And do not tell me you're into personality more than looks because that's bullshit (pardon my french!)   Whether you like it or not, looks matter!  And you're just getting to know him, how can you say anything about his personality???  So again, let me ask you...what are the first things you notice about a guy you just met?

For me, it's the shoes.  Not the size of the feet, silly!  You have a dirty mind and this blog is oozing with wholesomeness! Behave!  Anyway, it's the type of shoes the guy is wearing!  I love shoes and I try not to be caught dead wearing "baduy" shoes.  So, it goes without saying that I want my date (yeah yeah, I've fast forwarded to dating) to have presentable shoes.  They don't have to be expensive or branded ones, but they ought to look clean and in good shape.  Don't you just hate seeing guys wearing leather shoes that are so out of shape because the wearer's feet are just not right for those shoes?

I buy shoes because of the style and comfort, not just because they are in fashion.  Why would I deliberately make myself suffer just so I can look like everybody else?  So here are some my personal tips for you guys.  When choosing what shoes to wear, try to match it with the clothes you're wearing and consider where you will be going as well.   Sneakers and trainers are good for casual outings.  Rubber soled shoes can go very well with the smart casual look.  All three go well with jeans.  Leather shoes are mostly for formal or business attire.  And puhleez, don't wear brown shoes with black pants!  Never wear white shoes unless you're abut to come out of the closet!  Sandals are so-so because most of them are chunky.  Flip flops are only good for those with nice and clean feet, so make sure your toes are clean before going out wearing them.  Nobody will hang you if you get a pedi once in a while.

And last but not least, wear the appropriate socks!  As a general rule, always match your socks to your shoes.  The operative word is...coordinate!  NEVER wear white socks with black or brown shoes and NEVER the anklet style when wearing leather shoes...capiche? 

Don't mean to sound like I have a foot fetish...just don't want to get caught with someone wanted by the fashion police. Hahaha!!!

Pack Away

Can you count the times your mom said to clean your room? I can't count the many times my family, relatives and friends ever said that to me!  I hate cleaning my room!  I'm comfortable with my mess and I know where everything is anyway.  I wouldn't let anyone touch my stuff, even if you paid me for the honor of cleaning my room.

But now I have no choice.  We're moving from the house we have lived in for more than 33 years.  Let me not bore you with the sad details, but let's just say my dad sold the house.  Actually, we don't have a place to move into yet.  But it's inevitable.

Let me tell you, I'm a pack rat.  I keep almost everything and it pains me to throw away things.  I don't even give away stuff people has given me, however much I don't like them (the stuff and/or the ones who gave them to me) or need them. 

I have kept old clothes that don't fit anymore; bags that are out of fashion; shoes that I so love but can't wear anymore; accessories that I like to look at but don't really wear coz i rarely change my jewelry; cutie-cutie stuff that are more appropriate for graders; toys (who said toys are only for kids?); old photos that are still in those magnetic albums; souvenirs from weddings, christenings and  vacations; cassette tapes and long playing albums of my favorite 80s bands (they are unopened and might be worth something on ebay); pig stuff, which I religiously collected at one point; stuffed toys (hell yeah!); fast food chain promo items; mugs and candles I got as gifts; i have four piggy banks (one is a humongous one but the body design is that of a cow); a million unfinished cross stitch projects; paper from school and work; stuff better know as anik-anik; and of course a ton of books.

Now, I have to be practical....ugghh!  I just have to be strong, close my eyes and throw away what I don't need or can live without.  No, the piggy cow has to stay!  Ive already given away the bags I don't use.  But there are still enough that I can use to put most of my stuff in...like 30 of them (yes, I can do a month using one different bag a day).  And my bags aren't the small types either.  My clothes will probably all fit in a few of them.  I just need the boxes for my books, which are about 500-800.

My bedroom is the only room left in the house that is untouched by the evil packaholic...my dad.  Just as my mom was a pack rat (guess I got that trait from her huh?), my dad likes to throw away things, and without saying anything beforehand may I add!  Several times in the past, my mom and I would be turning the house upside down looking for something just to find out my dad has thrown it away.  So, in the case of my room, I warned him not to touch it.  Though he tried his very best to make me clean it up. Did I say I hate to clean my room????

Dirty Little Secret

Several months ago I dated this guy whose identity we will hide under the name of Kulas. Met him on one of the social sites...where else can you meet a complete stranger these days.  Anyway, I thought him to be a good and nice enough guy that I decided to meet up with him. First time I ever went on a date at 7 o'clock in the morning!

Kulas and I got along well and we always had fun when we were together.  But we were not inclined to go public.  The relationship may have potential but it was not wise to proceed further. Why? Because being together will only add more complications to an already complicated situation.  What to do, what to do?

Well, I actually didn't have to do anything because Kulas left.  He is now in another Asian country, working at a job he used to have back home.  Oh well.... Though we don't communicate much, we do stay in touch...as friends.

When I heard the song Dirty Little Secret again, it made me think of Kulas and how apt that song is for us. 

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
by: The All American Rejects

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know
Who has to know

Chill!

The Graveyard...Shift that is!

I've never been a morning person.  When I was still in school, I needed someone to wake me up or have my alarm clock ring really loud for me to get up.  And the problem with alarm clocks...you can just turn them off and go back to sleep! Don't tell me you haven't done that! Someone asked me once, are there wall clocks with alarms? That made me think...if the alarm of a wall clock rings, you would have to get up, take the clock off the wall, turn off the alarm then put the wall clock back on the wall.  What a hassle! Solution: just don't hang the wall clock!

Aside from having a hard time waking up early, I can't sleep early too.  However late I get home or tired I am or even however early I need to get up, I still find myself sleeping no earlier than 2am.

Anyways, the job I currently hold now is quite perfect for me schedulewise. When I got hired, I was asked which shift I preferred and I chose the graveyard shift.  My shift starts at 10pm and ends at 6am.  In other words, I live the life of a nocturnal person...sort of like an owl or a vampire (ahem...Edward, your fangs are making mg neck itch!!!).  I'm asleep during the day and awake at night.  Since I have had my job for almost 5 years now, I'm not used to being under the hot sun anymore.  On a side note: do I still need to use sunblock even if I work nights?

Of course, there are advantages and disadvantages to working the graveyard shift:

The pros:

1.  If you are a night person you will be up already.
2.  Less traffic going to and from work (well, usually).
3.  You can still do some things during the day. Some of my office mates even have part time day jobs.
4.  More time with family. Less time with family. Depends on your situation.
5.  Night differential.
6.  Quieter office environment.

The cons:
1.  There are not much places you can order food from. I can only take so much Mcdonald's and Jollibee.
2.  Not seeing your family and friends much. Why? Coz either you're at work or asleep.
3.  Not knowing (or caring) what time of day or even what day it actually is!
4.  It can be quite unsafe walking the streets at night.
5.  Social life will be limited.  My friends have saved Friday nights as the night to meet because of my schedule.
6.  You tend to fall asleep during work.  Meaning you get to make an IR (incident report) if you get caught.

I'm sure there are other reasons why the graveyard shift is good or bad for you. But if you are used to normal  hours, working nights will take a lot of getting used to.  Better stick to having sunlight while you're having your first cup of coffee at work.

I remember one incident wherein I found myself chatting with this British guy.  Here's how part of the conversation went:
R:  you have cam?
Z:  sorry no, i'm at work
R:  you're at work at this time?
Z:  yeah i'm on the graveyard shift
R:  why would you do that?
Z:  do what?
R:  work at the graveyard
Z:  wahahahaha